Cold start.

 


Here we go again.

Second year, semester 4.

My jury is done. It was really different. 

Now, I've a theory paper on 1st May (the day after tomorrow)

No, I have not started studying. The subject is product semiotics.
But that is different from the subject of today.

I have lost control of how my brain functions. I need to swim in the direction I want to be, but I feel I've left myself just floating into randomness. And it bloody sucks. I hate it really bad. 
My brain currently does not want to stay in line with what I want to do. I don't even know if it makes sense, but it is true.  
I am in love with bicycles again, but I'm not able to PHYSICALLY do anything about it. All I'm left with is some hints of visualisations in my mind. I mean I hold a pencil and start sketching, but the mental process just stops, and I'm left with nothing. As if my brain just switches off completely. But I need to get back. ASAP. But I need to do something. This state of floating with entropy is not the state I need to be. How do I do it? I don't know.
I also care a lot about what others feel and think about my work. which NEEDS TO STOP. I mean it's just unnecessary pressure. I don't need that.  

I need to work on what I really am into working. 
But, Im stating this again, but I need to complete it. I don't really like the word work. I don't know why, but it just sounds very serious and load-giving.
I guess grind is the correct word. YES. I gotta GRIND. 
yes. 
The reason I am writing this is to clear certain things in my mind and start again. This feels really good. 
I really hope this works out.

I'm hungry, and I will be cycling to college, to submit a paper, and then i'll have food. 




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